As a counselor, a common complaint I hear from Christian couples is unsatisfactory sexuality. What Makes Great Christian Sex? Here are 5 essential ingredients for not only healthy sex, but great Christian sex!
1. Naked and not ashamed
Genesis 2:25 provides the building blocks for a solid foundation for a healthy marriage and sexuality: Intimacy. Dictionary.com defines shame as “the painful feeling that comes from the awareness of something dishonorable, inappropriate and ridiculous.” Adam and Eve had just met, and yet they felt “naked and not ashamed.” There was an emotional, physical and spiritual security. Great sex is a byproduct of such intimacy between two people.
2. Fly alone with your partner
The sweetest sex takes place by taking the time to nurture the relationship with one person over time. Some say staying married to the same person is boring. On the contrary! It will be an adventure to walk the twists and turns with your partner on this journey called life. We can rediscover our partner over time with the added benefit of knowing them from the past.
3. Have it!
In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s amazing how easily sex is neglected in married couples. This can happen at all stages of the marriage: newlyweds, small children, adolescent children and empty nest. Somehow we think great sex comes when everything has to be perfect: the lighting, the place, the music. This is the icing on the cake, but sometimes you just have the cake, which can be equally satisfying.
4. Enjoyable Techniques
Every spouse wants to satisfy his or her spouse sexually, but may feel inadequate because they may lack the practical know-how. As a counselor, I usually advise married couples to start by stimulating only the erogenous zones of the body – the genitals and breasts, and then start communicating what is pleasurable. Find and implement some resources to educate yourself about the practice of sex.
Communication is simply talking about everything that makes sex better. Atmosphere, places, technique and frequency are good ideas to discuss with your partner. Your spouse cannot please you sexually if he/she is not aware of your preferences. You and your partner can become the best sex coaches for your marriage if you are willing to communicate your sexual needs and desires.
And you? Do you experience great sex as a Christian married couple? You may need to find some time to have sex. Or maybe you need to get some valuable resources to educate yourself about better techniques to satisfy your partner. Are you rediscovering your partner? Remember, God desires that sex for married couples is not good, but great!
Terre Grable is a Christian Licensed Professional Counselor. She enjoys helping couples strengthen and rebuild intimacy in their marriage and relationships.